it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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