ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
