A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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