And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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