Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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