just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
