The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
