Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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