'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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