Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
