it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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