I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
