Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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