I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
