My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
