when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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