How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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