There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
