he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize