Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
