Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
