sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
