question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
