so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
