you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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