My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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