He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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