Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize