i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
