they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
