i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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