Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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