it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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