Having a random hookup so left but love u
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
