I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
