the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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