if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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