Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
