I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
