first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Randomize
