I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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