And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
