so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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