All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
