Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
