I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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