i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
it was like eating out sand paper
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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