Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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