it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
