My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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