Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
