garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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