Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
