yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
