a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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