those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
