Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize