Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
