Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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