Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
