if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
