Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize