I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
