with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
